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Oh dear! Don't say such a thing! My mother-in-law yelps. I would be happy to help you... it's not as difficult as you may think.
Oh yes it is! I mutter under my breath. It's quantum physics marries rocket science. And it's certainly more difficult than YOU think.
You must understand here that my mother-in-law may not be a rocket scientist but she is a wonderful wonderful lady. She is neither ignorant nor arrogant. Insufficiently informed, perhaps, I conclude inside my head, as I search for the right phrase to describe the intersection of her naive optimism and the depth of my dismal incompetence.
How about if we make something from the cookbook together today?
Today?!! I feel positively trapped. We are on vacation, and there is nothing else on my schedule I could use as a convenient excuse.
Not today. Not tomorrow. Not even next week! Not in my lifetime. I can't. I won't. I wouldn't be able to even if Betty Crocker herself showed up in her apron in the middle of the kitchen right now.
She stands up and unhooks her apron and hands me the other one.
Mmmmm... I think a peach pie would be perfect? It's been a while since I made one....A peach pie?!!! I gasp as if I've seen a ghost. Not a peach pie!!!
... and I know that D - D is my poor peach-pie-deprived husband - loves peach pie. Plus, we have these delicious fresh peaches Dad got at the farmers' market this morning...
I....I... I'd rather if we just eat them fresh... m-m-m-ore nutritional value... I protest feebly, fighting the panic inside.
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