Happy Father's Day from Sunpass - Part Two

Curiously enough, in that very moment every thankful thought – that we’d found the parking space – free of charge, that our car didn’t get impounded, and we didn’t get a ticket; that we were not eaten by the sharks, or stung by jellyfish, or pooped on by the fleet of the overfed seagulls; that we neither drowned nor were we sun-burnt -  every single thankful, grateful thought was instantly obliterated from my mind.  And in the blank space left, all I was seeing was the damn red light with it’s immutable message:

Pay Tolls!

I already paid the stupid %4#?@ toll!  I slam the door open and step outside. Something must have gotten stuck inside the cone. I grab it and shake it violently, and notice a million dollars worth of dimes, nickels, quarters and some foreign money that never made it inside the bucket.  I remember the shovel in our trunk and start scooping the coins into the collection cone.

There! Now you have it.  Satisfied?

I stomp back into the car, ready to go, for now I know that the beast must be happy since it swallowed enough money to instantly solve both European debt and American budget deficit crisis.

The red light remains on.

Mom, let’s just go.  We can hire a lawyer and we will be your witnesses that you indeed have paid tolls.

Yep, that’s what I am going to do.  I am going to hire lawyer to get my two quarters, a million dollars I've just shoveled in and all my crucified nerves back.

I finally decide to blaze through the red light, thinking everything is just a joke.  The toll-booth is broken, the red light is broken, and there, in the bushes, crouches a Hidden Camera guy laughing uproariously, ready to pull me over pretending to be a cop.

 

With the corner of my eye, as I pass the light, it blinks black and a new message appears.

No Sunpass.

A deep guttural roar escapes my throat. 

I can imagine the face of my husband getting a Happy Father's Day card from Sunpass.  Just what he is looking forward to coming home jet-lagged from an overseas trip.

Suddenly I wish I was pooped on by a fleet of overstuffed seagulls.