The Humble Pie and the Owner's Manual From Outer Space

Even the promise of Bob’s award-winning chocolate pie seems to be a small consolation for the humble pie I’ve just swallowed in one huge gulp.  The bitter taste still in my mouth, I spot the familiar white truck rolling around the corner, a trailer hitched to its back hauling a medium-size mountain. Within seconds the overpowering smell catches up and settles over the entire residential district.

The sight of the truck makes me realize that none of my morning woes would have happened if the Space Cowboy hadn't been late. 

You are late! I glower, happy to have somebody to blame. He ignores the bark, looking quite amused as he takes in the entire scene - the dogs, my slober-dripping face, microscope in my hand and pie in Bob’s. I take the pie from Bob, mumble an apologetic ‘thank you’ and watch him walk back to his house, trailed by the puppies.

What just happened?

I try to describe my morning and find the words pathetically deficient. Eventually, he is able to piece together the story and bursts into laughter.

So, you think that’s funny…I see nothing to laugh about.

Some people just have to learn the hard way… you could have spared yourself some embarrassment and grief if you’d read the owner’s manual…

The owner’s manual? What manual are you talking about?!!! It must be from outer space for I can't imagine a manual on earth that includes instructions on the use of  microscopes on your neighbor’s weeds? 

He nods a silent ‘yep’ still looking sickeningly amused. Now I am positively rabid.

Why didn’t you tell me?!!? You were withholding information from me which could have spared me so much grief and embarrassment!!!

 

Would it make any difference if I had?

I pause, weighing in the question. I hate to agree with him, but I must admit I've never been much into reading the manuals.

Probably not.  

Well, after today, I think you may be reconsidering that. 

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All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 2:16,17