With the egg still dripping down my face, I see the white truck roll around the corner, with a large trailer hauling a medium-size mountain behind. Seconds later the overpowering smell catches up and settles over the entire residential district.
You are late! I bark at the space cowboy, who gives me a quizzical look, scanning the dogs, my dripping face, and Bob holding the home-made pie all in one glance. I take the pie from Bob’s hands, mumble an apologetic ‘thank you’ and watch him walk back to his house.
What just happened?
I try to describe my morning and find the words pathetically deficient. Eventually, he is able to piece together the story and bursts into laughter.
So, you think that’s funny…I growl.
Some people just have to learn the hard way… you could have spared yourself some embarrassment and grief if you’d read the manual…
The manual? The manual talks about the microscopes and neighbor’s mutant weeds? He nods a silent ‘yep’. Now I am positively rabid.
Why didn’t you tell me?!!?
Would it make any difference if I had? I pause.
Probably not… I guess you are right, some people just have to learn their lessons the hard way…. I feel a bit tired of learning everything the hard way. If there is an easier way to learn, I am in the game. A huge sigh escapes me as I ask,
What else does your manual say?
Well, if you really want to know, you’ll just have to find out for yourself. Right now we have a work cut out for us… He points to the reeking mountain inside the trailer, grabs a couple of shovels and hands me one.
What on God’s good earth is that smell??
Cow manure. Premium grade. I got a great deal on it and since your yard hasn’t eaten anything in years, thought you could use a little extra… you might want to put some rubber boots on before we start shoveling…
I look at the mountain of cow dung towering over our house and know that in an instant I have become the one neighbor in our subdivision everyone loves to hate.
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