I’m sorry, but I am just not as screwed up as you are

I thought I had given the God-issue enough thought and attention to effectively dismiss it and coast the rest of my life with conviction that there is no God and it’s all up to us.  But, less then a week later, while enjoying the gorgeous view of the Adriatic from a deck of a ferry, I was cornered once again, and that without a chance of escape.  But, this time it wasn't Americans who had been culturally pre-programmed to believe in God.  No, on the ferry I met a Frenchman, a Slovenian, and a young woman, Vesna, who later became a very good friend, who was from Belgrade too. They all apparently believed in the same God-talk, No-Other-Way-to-God-but-Jesus talk, not-religion-but-personal-relationship talk I had been deluged with by my culturally-indoctrinated American friends. 

But, this time I had a problem.  These people were NOT Americans.  There was a French guy!  It doesn't get any more secular than that. And there was a woman who went to the same high school I did!  It doesn't get much closer to home than that!

And all of them had something…. something… in common besides all this God-talk.  They were different.  They had something I couldn't quite put my finger on that I knew I didn't have.

The French guy said,

It’s Jesus… living inside us.  That’s what makes us different.

Yea, right.  I said, and thought. This is what I call seriously  w-e-i-r-d. 

Each of them shared their own personal journey of faith.  How they met Jesus.  The difference He made in their lives.  The change.  Even transformation.

I couldn't argue with their stories.  I couldn't dismiss what I saw and heard in them. So, I half-heartedly conceded.

Yes, I can see how it works for you.  How it makes sense in YOUR life.  But, you guys were all so screwed up.  You were so messed up, you NEEDED God. You needed help.  You were desperate. You needed this crutch. But, I… I am different.  I’m sorry, but I am just not as screwed up as you are…or at least as you used to be.  I am happy for you, but I…  I don’t really need this… it’s just not for ME.