Fighting the Imaginary Stay-at-Home vs. Working Moms Dichotomy War

The most recent war between stay-at-home moms and working moms proves yet again that we seem to be enamored with fighting needless battles and fueling false dichotomies. Regardless of what Hillary Rosen and Ann Romney say or tweet and the media, blog and FB frenzy that generates, we all know that there are both stay-at-home mothers and working moms who have either made that choice or that choice was made for them for all the right, courageous and noble reasons.

Likewise, there is plenty of insecure, cowardly or hurting women who have chosen the insulation of their homes from so-called evil and ungodly world we live in for all the... well... not so noble and right reasons. There is probably equal number of insecure, cowardly or hurting women who have chosen the reprieve and escape the workforce world offers from the, at times, unbearable strain and pressure of parenthood for all the... well... not so noble and right reasons.

Implying that a choice – one or the other – is intrinsically right or wrong, is, if I dare say, wrong. We can’t justify or condemn either in its own merit. And since we don’t know what is in the heart of another human being nor are we equipped to discern their internal motivation, we need to refrain from judging, justifying or condemning altogether, and if possible, from meddling in other people’s affairs.

What we can and perhaps, should do, however, is examining our own hearts and making sure that what we choose to do is done with courage, humility and nobility of heart before God who sees and knows each of us, and entrust all judgment we want to pass on to others into His loving, faithful and just hands.

Do not judge so that you will not be judged. For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. Matthew 7:1-5