Stop the Inevitable!

I respond the same way I always do when I feel like I am holding a dragon’s egg ready to hatch.  I employ every effort to stop the inevitable, which namely means, I engage in the lost art of negotiation.

Hmmm… knitting… I start again, this time slowly.  

That’s so... sooo… WONDERFUL! 

I pause strategically, allowing the word ‘wonderful’ to work its softening magic before I begin shredding. 

But… isn’t that a bit… impractical... and outdated?  Something old grannies with nothing better to do with their time do seated in a rocking chair, a crotchet blanket warming up their skinny legs…? 

I know I’ve gone way too far when I get to the ‘skinny leg’ part because her expression has shifted from calm patient determination into a thunderous scowl shooting lightenings in my direction.

Mom!

The sour grapes methodology proven not just ineffective but quite counterproductive, I regress into diversion.  It used to work like charm when our kids were toddlers.

How about astrophysics?  So much to explore... Or speaking Chinese? You know the future belongs to the Chinese...they are brilliant! Or playing oboe? Or, if you are not up to the challenge, you could choose something easy, like learning a new word every single day! ‘Antediluvian’ for example, or ‘thole’.  Do you even know what ‘antediluvian’ means? I can help you use them in a sentence!  

I am actually getting excited now. I can’t stop myself.

Or, coding! How about coding? If you want to learn something new, why don’t you try coding? Don’t you want to create your own video games?!!!   

Bringing up video games into the argument impresses even me. 

I am convinced it’s the coup de grace to this ridiculous knitting notion.