Sunday, July 28, 2013

Growth - When Something So Good Turns Out to Be So Bad





Enveloped in the blue silence of the sky and the faint smell of manure ascending from the earth below, suddenly I feel rather foolish for putting so much stock into the modules and the workshop; into those carefully crafted and well-organized words as if one can reduce the heaven into a bullet point and summarize the texture of the earth in a closing paragraph.

As if those painstakingly distilled, simple how-to’s can accomplish what only the Gardener from Outer Space can…

… create something out of nothing…

… turn the wasteland into an oasis…

… open the ears of the deaf…

… open the eyes of the blind…

… bring life out of death…or..

… make me, even me,  a gardener…?!!!

The preposterous thought makes me want to bury my head into the manure-enriched soil. But, before I am able to do it, another one hits me like a leftover pavement brick from Bob's walkway. 

What if ...this workshop... intended to help… intended to instruct men and women into the marvelous art ...into the fascinating science… into the awesomely miraculous artistic science and scientific art of gardening... is actually reducing, even eliminating our need ... or at least our perception... our recognition of our desperate need for the Gardener from Outer Space… to show up... on our street... in our driveway... with the shovel and the manure pile... with the garden hose and the seeds... 

The thought is so terrifying, so bone-freezing sacrilegious that my knees buckle under its weight.

What an idiot… what a completely colossal fool I've been! I cry out, with my face planted between the rows of tomatoes, my mouth filled with the enriched dirt. Before I choke completely, I turn my head, noticing the maple tree staring at me. 

It gently sways its branches in silent agreement.

I am not sure if I want to kick it or hug it… or both. 

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