Ready or Not...

Like a bunch of shell-shocked zombies, we tumbled out of an emotional roller-coaster Thanksgiving, crash-landing onto the decked out airport that spilled us into refreshingly balmy central-Florida December. We are welcomed by the palm trees waving their fronds wrapped in blinking green and red miniature LED lights. In the days that follow, cheery neighbors, colleagues and shop assistants sparkle with friendly conversation starter:

All ready for Christmas?  

I stare back until they feel the urge to repeat the question announcing each word, nodding imperceptibly as if to give me a clue what the right answer is.

Ready for Christmas?!!! I am still recovering from jet-leg and a host of other unrelated emotions, trying to shake them all off with rapid blinking and rapid succession of shots of extra-strong Turkish coffee. I understand every word but I am not sure I quite comprehend the meaning of their question.

What ‘all ready for Christmas’ means???

And, even more importantly, what happens if… if perchance… one is not…does not get… ‘all ready’?

For, this year, if there was a Christmas-preparation final, I know I would fail.  Last year, I probably failed also, but it was so long ago I don't remember. Now I know I am comprehensively unprepared, completely discombobulated and entirely unqualified to welcome baby Jesus into this world. 

There are only 12 days left and I haven’t even started ‘preparing’. 

Thoroughly overwhelmed by the mix of impossible expectations and depressing reality, I do what I normally do when thoroughly overwhelmed by the lethal combination of impossible expectations and depressing reality...