Perhaps… perhaps I
need a fresh perspective…? The tree
seems to be in agreement, leaning its lowest branch toward me.
I take the extended limb as a sign of good will and hoist my
creaky body over it. My boots still dripping, I must acknowledge that being
lifted out of the puddle of self-pity indeed helps. I carefully crawl further up the tree.
Up in the sky, half way to the Moon, I consider alternatives
–
Adding an expansion to
our driveway and turning the whole yard into a basketball court… ?
Adopting an Arizona style rock garden
with zero grass landscaping…?
Designing a life-size
mosaic of a blue whale with a water fountain in place of the blowhole…?
Finally, the energy efficient light bulb comes on in my head
and I have a brilliant idea!
Astro-turf! That’s what we should do – we should put down Astro-turf. All my woes instantly evaporate as I clamber down the tree trunk to call the family meeting.
We are switching to Astro Turf! I announce, very much impressed with myself.
My husband looks at me over his reading glasses and with one
blow, without apology nixes my brilliant idea.
Ain’t gonna work. It’s against our HOA CC&Rs, and goes back to clipping the coupons.
What do you mean, ‘It’s against our HOA CC&Rs’?!!!
They can’t do that! They are overreaching their authority! Think of all the resources
we could save. How can they object to that? Forbidding fake grass… I mean that
would be like banning all the fake Christians, all the phonies and all the hypocrites
from going to church!
Our I-read-Encyclopedia-Britannica-just-for-fun son
sticks his nose out of its pages and throws in his two cents.
Mom, it’s really not as great as it sounds… There are some serious drawbacks to
fake grass. The infill required for laying down artificial turf may carry heavy
metals which can leech into the water table, plus the turf carries pathogens
which are not broken down by natural processes in the same way as regular grass
and that… He
looks up, sees my stunned expression and stops mid sentence.
I had no idea that faking can be hazardous to your own, your
family’s and your community’s health.
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