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Most of us find the beginning of the matter easier than the
end. We
love the fresh start. Clean slate. The excitement of novelty.
But when the novelty wears
off, the fresh becomes a bit …old, a bit stale… when the slate gets spills and
splatters, dings and dents… what do you do?
What do you do when you find out that the wine has run out
on your wedding day?
Some of us redouble our effort.
I am determined to save myself from the embarrassment
and swear I'll never run out of anything ever again. I want to hire the best wedding planner the money
can buy to ensure my storage rooms are well-stocked with surplus to last us
into the retirement age. And my life begins to revolve around managing the embarrassment-saving
supplies for every eventuality life may throw at me… and my loved ones… and
their loved ones… all the way to God.
I carry this huge sense of responsibility to guard, to
manage God’s reputation just in case He falls short of my own or your expectations
of what He should and shouldn’t be doing, of what He should and shouldn’t be
allowing. I am determined that if His wine stock supplies run out I will swoop
in and save the day… But in this exhausting not to mention futile process,
I barely notice that someway… somehow… the life itself has imperceptibly leaked
out of my soul… and one day, I find myself with my stockyard full of everything
but life… of everything but simple… joy… of living… truly living… And I start
to wonder…
Is there a way to bring fresh
wind under the old sails?
Can God …
...will God
...restock
the wine supplies of my life
when my old barrels
run dry?
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