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Needless to say, the length of my hospital gown, and whether my behind is exposed or not is the least of
my concerns if I am the one wearing it. Or if it’s the one I dearly love wearing
it.
Even how exactly I got here doesn’t matter that much.
It could be an illness.
It could be an accident. An ‘act of God’. My fault, your fault, everybody’s fault, nobody’s
fault – it doesn’t matter.
Just the fact that I am
here.
The simple fact that
life has side-swept me off its highway, knocked me of my feet and left me half-dead in
the ditch while the rest of the world is happily zooming by.
I am out of my depth, in-over-my-head. This is way more than I could ever handle on my own.
I.
Need.
Help.
Suddenly all my priorities
are rearranged for me.
Suddenly, my scheduled
is completely cleared up on my behalf.
Suddenly, what I do,
what I call myself and all the stresses and
worries that are attached to my silly titles - matter very, very little.
And in an instant, what
matters A LOT is what I’ve been taking for granted most of my life. What I’ve been shortchanging and squandering
and sacrificing on an imaginary altar of more important, more urgent things.
Suddenly, I have a lot
of time to kill. Honestly, more time than I really
want to have on my restless hands.
And as the seconds drag
like molasses into minutes, and minutes drag into hours I would kill to have my
old life back, at least some parts of it, but with these new eyes that have
been opened.
Because I am seeing myself – my life and everything in it, as if for the very first time.
And I thank
God, from the depths I didn’t even know existed in my heart, I thank God for
it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? Matthew 16:26
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