The Brown Thumb Syndrom

You know..., I follow right behind him, the cup in hand, the more I think about it, the more I realize that there was a huge mistake. I do appreciate your amazing offer, you showing up here at the crack of dawn… But you got yourself a wrong person, sir. I don’t have just a brown thumb. Every finger and every toe and every bone in my body is brown. I have killed, mutilated, and murdered every green thing that ever showed up within our property lines. I walk by a TrueGreen sign and it wilts and withers. Get it? It’s hopeless. Leave while there is still time…

He looks at me and hands me the hose, straightening the kinks as he unrolls it off the hose hanger. 

Apparently he is quite deaf, in addition to being crazy.

I’ll turn on the water… He walks behind the fence and opens the valve. The hose coughs and sputters for a few seconds and then the water begins to gush out. I am getting quite drenched, but I don't see how that's going to help my yard. 

I don’t see how in the world can this do any good…?

If you stop being so opinionated, we might actually get somewhere…

You just called me opinionated! I’m deeply offended!!

True or false?

Well… I admit… I can be… sometimes… Alright, … most of the time. But, still…

Now we are getting somewhere. He chuckles and takes a deep breath. Without realizing, I do the same.

I love mornings, he says and  I am about to launch into Why-I-Hate-Mornings debate. As I open my mouth, he closes his eyes. With his eyes closed, he is a picture of such restful bliss that I forget about the argument. I desperately want what he has, and try to close my eyes. Too scared that I am not coordinated enough to juggle a gushing hose in one hand and a coffee mug in the other while standing with my eyes shut, I chose to be on the safe side and keep them open.

You hear it? He whispers.

I hear nothing, other than the shhhhh of the water…

Just listen…...

It’s very quiet. I finally say. It’s actually… nice.

We stand there a while. No words between us. Just the stillness of the early morning.

This feels… good, I mutter, I could stand here forever. 

I feel mildly intoxicated, unaccustomed to all the fresh air and quiet.  Then, there is a soft sound of shuffling of the feet in the grass.

This will do. We are done for today, He says and shuts off the water.

Done?!! Already?!!! I gasp. I thought…

I’ll be back tomorrow, Ms Opinionated. 

I open my mouth in protest but he is already gone.