As far as I am aware, nobody really knows about the existence of the book (although, some, I gather, might have a suspicion or two, but fortunately they are not the blabbering type). Even though in other areas I am not a detail kind of person, here I pride myself with impeccable accounting. The book is my masterpiece. It’s the most comprehensive panoramic record of numerous grievous wrongs inflicted on my poor soul through the years. I have worked very hard at it most of my life. The book was birthed on the same day I was. Its earliest record goes back to the hospital where I was born. Hardly had I pushed my way through the birth canal when the nurse who barely caught me on the way out, whacked me as hard as she could on my back.
If THIS is my welcome, I insist on being sent back! I yelled as loud as I could, but everyone around me ignored it and cheered and applauded instead. I knew immediately it was going to be a rough ride.
The most recent entry tells of an incident that happened in the church this morning. But, I wont’ go into that.
Now, I know I am supposed to forgive – which, of course, I have done already, many times. But, guilty pleasure though it may be, I admit it is by far my favorite bedtime reading.
The Book of Grudges.
Some chapters I almost have memorized, Botox for Backstabbers, Murdering with a Smile for example.
The table of content also includes:
Gossip – the Secret Weapon of Mass Destruction
With Friends Like This, Who Needs Enemies?
Who Put YOU in Charge? The incompetent losers and places of authority
Thanks for Being Such an Ungrateful Pig!
Why Waste Time? (or, Bring Back the Guillotine!) Simplifying the justice system by becoming an all-in-one Prosecutor, Judge and Executioner
Last night, as I skimmed through the pages I noticed one particular name being repeated over and over again. The habitual offender.
I could feel my temperature rising. The more I pondered, the more furious I became. I spent most of the following day swinging from raging banshee plotting revenge to despondent, Woe-Is-Me, weeping inconsolably as the lake of self-pity around my feet grew to the size of Atlantic Ocean. I was just about to switch again when I got interrupted by a cheery,
Whatcha doin’, Big G? The last person I was in the mood to talk to today.
Hi there, King of Oxy-MORONS, I answered morosely, hoping he’ll go away if I am rude enough.
That’s hilarious! He burst into laughter. I like it! Guilty as charged! His eyes twinkled and I thought I caught a glimpse of a wink.
Although… the way you said it, he added, it sounded more like name-calling. So, whatcha been readin’, The Short History of the Universe? He was looking over my shoulder as if trying to see the book. I could tell it was a trick question. I knew that he already knew what I was reading.
Sort of…I could feel a major case of grumpiness descending on me, but I wasn’t going to let it keep me from setting the record straight.
Alright, since you asked for it! I think that THIS, I thumped my forefinger on the cover of the book now in plain view, This is just outright wrong!
I agree. His voice mingled with mirth and something else, I couldn’t quite distinguish..
I am sick and tired it! I am tired of being criticized, gossiped about, back-stabbed, betrayed, thrown up on, misjudged and misunderstood. I am tired of friends who only remember me when they need me and of enemies who have made up their minds about me without even knowing me!
He was nodding as if he truly understood what I was talking about. I decided it was time to bring it up a notch.
Something needs to be done - and I mean, IMMEDIATELY!
Oh? Like what?
When opportunity knocks on my door I sure can hear it, and I was ready to give him my piece of mind.
Well, since you inquired… You know those repeat offenders from the book…?
I know them. He answered quite engaged, almost amused, at this point
Well, they got off the hook too easily! Not to name any names, but you know who I am thinking of. It’s just not fair.
I see... Buoyed by his apparent understanding, I continued.
I want him to FEEL what he’s done to ME! Alright, to put it bluntly, I want him to suffer. And this is where you come in … you could pull some strings… you could send a bunch of chinch bugs into his lawn, for example, or a virus into his computer. A red sock could just happen to fall in his white wash, and turn all his underpants bright-pink! I was already feeling much better.
So, you want to hire me as your hit man?
I wasn’t thinking quite in those terms, but if you wish to call it that… My voice trailed off, before I continued.
I admit I haven’t really considered the payment aspect of our agreement… Perhaps, I could finally return all those overdue books to the library…? Or, I could volunteer at school, even though those bickering brats are driving me crazy…That would be right up your alley, a real sacrifice, wouldn’t it?
A shadow passed over his face.
I mean... I didn’t mean to haggle with you over the price as if we are in the farmer’s market? I promise I will not disappoint you. Somehow it felt as if I’ve just taken one foot out of my mouth only to put the other in.
So, do we have an agreement or not? I sighed. I am sure we can figure out the details later.
Yes, we have the agreement. He said, his voice firmer than usual. Now, give me the book.
What?!!!
Hand the book over to me. His voice was immovable like the base of Mt. Everest and soft like a seaside breeze
No way! Sorry, can’t do it! I clutched the book tightly to my chest, as he stretched out his hand towards me. I noticed a purple scar pulsating in the afternoon sun.
I am not going to yank it out of your hand, hon. You need to give it to me. His voice was barely audible whisper by now, riddled with pain. I paused.
Then what? What happens when and if I give you the book? I wanted to keep all my options open.
Then, you love them… He said simply, as if it’s the easiest thing in the world. You love your enemies…
Excuse me?!!
You love your enemies. He repeated patiently, as if deaf to the mockery sputtering out of my mouth.
Love them?!!!! Are you crazy?!!! Whacking them on the head with a rubber mallet was more along the lines of what I was thinking ….Where I come from, that’s how we deal with our enemies…
And where I come from, He paused briefly, where I come from, this is how we deal with our enemies. We love them. Just as I have loved you…
But… but, what about the repeat offenders? I stuttered weakly, my hands going limp.
The repeat offenders? His eyes sunk deeply into mine, past the crusty blinders, past the festering wounds, past disappointments and shattered dreams, past losses and un-cried tears. The repeat offenders… , He enunciated every word, They are… to be loved… most of all.
I hardly noticed when the book slipped between my fingers and fell to the ground. I thought he would bend over and pick it up, but he didn’t move. His gaze was fixed on me, a category five hurricane of grace and conviction, cleansing and gentleness.
You must love the repeat offender… just as I have loved you.
Let me give you a new command: Love one another. In the same way I loved you, you love one another. John 13:34
It is a trustworthy statement, deserving full acceptance, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, among whom I am foremost of all. And yet, for this reason I found mercy, in order that in me as the foremost, Jesus Christ might demonstrate His perfect patience, as an example for those who would believe in Him for eternal life. I Timothy 1:15,16
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