Ever since my sister
left last summer, Anna and I have been going for morning walks together,
continuing on with the habit that somehow created itself apart from any intent,
will or determination of our own.
We are not fanatical
about it. We don’t go every day. We don’t have a set time. Our
morning walks meander through our lives, adjusting to its ebb and flow, rhymes
and seasons (even when there is no discernible reason).
Sometimes abundant,
sometimes scarce, but every time these walks happen, they seem
to hit the spot for both of us.
Our path takes us
through our neighborhood, across a busy street into another quiet neighborhood
with a trail around a lake skirting a small patch of woods the developer
thoughtfully left behind after plowing down everything else to build the
mini-mansions.
We admire those mansions. But, we are more likely to be taken by the giant blazing fireball glowing on the east horizon and the interplay of its glory with the clouds in the sky above and the lake below.
Or by angelic
winged creatures unceremoniously wading through the shallows on their two
stick-like legs, raking the bottom muck in search for a snack.
Yuck!
Yuck!
Life is inhaled and exhaled between our breaths and steps, life is chewed, tasted and digested as it falls like crumbs off our breakfast tables on these walks.
Sometimes we fantasize about what
it would be like to live inside one of those gorgeous houses in a perfect
neighborhood with a lake and a path through the woods.
I LUST after that house, I moan.
Which one? She is suddenly animated beyond what is suitable
for the morning hour.
The one at the very
beginning of the trail. On the edge of the lake. In the cul-de-sac!
Oh YES! Me too!
If that house ever goes
on the market, we have to enter a bidding war over it.
No, we’ll just sell everything we own, buy it
and move in there together. It’s big enough for both our families.
We laugh as we imagine life with BOTH our families inhabiting the
house's secret interior.
Its owners are as mysterious and invisible.
We wish we could meet them and ask what it feels like to actually live the dream… Is it worth the sacrifice? Do their kids like the trade-off? Does their spouse love or resent this slab-and-concrete perfection?
But we never see them.
So, our questions are doomed to remain unanswered as we continue on our walk, leaving the lusted-after mansion and it's perfect location behind.
Its owners are as mysterious and invisible.
We wish we could meet them and ask what it feels like to actually live the dream… Is it worth the sacrifice? Do their kids like the trade-off? Does their spouse love or resent this slab-and-concrete perfection?
But we never see them.
So, our questions are doomed to remain unanswered as we continue on our walk, leaving the lusted-after mansion and it's perfect location behind.
What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose
yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for? Matthew 16:26
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